


Ghost of Christmases Past

by MoonOwl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Family, Jewish Character, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:59:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonOwl/pseuds/MoonOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmastime has changed for Erwin</p><p>[Belated Christmas/Birthday fic 2k15]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghost of Christmases Past

About half-way through their mid-morning walk, Erwin realizes that this is his third December 25th in which he didn't celebrate Christmas. He hadn't celebrated it since the baby was born. Oh, toddler now, he mentally corrects himself, looking at the sleeping two-year-old in the stroller. 

In the six years of their marriage, Erwin spent three December 25th's with holly hung with care and three with take-out and movies on the couch. Erwin had never been much of a religious man (“spiritual” he remembers telling Levi when they were first dating) so of course he didn't mind when Levi said he wanted Lily to be raised Jewish and to only celebrate Jewish holidays. But still, occasionally he felt a tinge of nostalgia in his gut whenever the 25th rolled around.

“So, 35-years now,” Erwin says into the chilly December air. “Just five more years until the big 4 – 0.”

“Oh, don't you fret,” Levi replies wryly as he pushes the stroller. “You'll always be seven years older than me. You hit 40 two years ago, remember?” 

...

They didn't spend their first December 25th as a couple together. 

“Look, I don't care if you want to go see your mother or sister. I don't care all that much about my birthday.” Levi had told him on the ride back from the resturant. 

“You don't?” Erwin asked, looking over from the passenger’s seat. “Was it never all that special growing up?”

Levi shook his head. “My mom would make a big fuss, but I never had a party or anything.”

“Everyone else too busy celebrating Christmas?” Erwin said almost knowingly.

Once more, Levi shook his head. “Most of the people I knew growing up were Jewish. I lived in a pretty Jewish neighborhood back in St. Maria's Park. We just didn't have the money for a party or too many presents.”

An apologetic look fell on Erwin's face. He almost began to speak, but Levi stopped him. 

“Erwin, it's fine, it's not a big deal. I don't like big celebrations. Go have fun with your family.” 

Levi stopped the car as he came up to Erwin's apartment building.“Well, if you want, you can come celebrate Chanukah with me and my friend Petra this year. She's a girl I used to go to school with who moved out here recently, so...”

As Levi's voice trails off, Erwin leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I'd love to, Levi.” 

…

They sit together in the den, watching Lily play with the blocks she received a couple of weeks ago at Chanukah as their cats cuddled up to them. 

“You haven't said much about today being your birthday,” Erwin comments as he slings an arm around his husband's shoulders. 

“Because I don't care that it's my birthday,” Levi responds, not looking away from the hat he is knitting for Lily. 

“Well that's too bad,” Erwin remarks as the corners of his lips upturn. “With my pay-raise from becoming the department head I went all out for your presents this year.” 

Still not looking directly at Erwin, Levi rolls his eyes. “Well you shouldn't have because I don't have anything I don't need.” 

Erwin rolls his eyes as well, but in a more playful way. He turns his attention back to his daughter. “Lily, want to help me go get the presents for Daddy?”

Lily excitedly gets up from the carpeted floor and starts tugging on Erwin's arm to get him up from the couch. 

Pulled away by an impatient toddler, Erwin gives Levi a smug smile and Levi finally puts down his knitting. 

…

“I'm thinking of stopping testosterone,” Levi had said that morning as he was clearing the table.

It was their fifth December 25th together, their second as a married couple.

“Oh, really?” Erwin asked after swallowing a final spoonful of cereal. “Can I ask why? I mean, it's your choice, of course, but I just – ”

Levi turned around to fully face Erwin. “We should start trying to have a baby.” 

“Oh my God,” Erwin said, standing up from the table. Walking over to Levi, he broke out in a smile. “Are you sure about this?” 

Levi wrapped his arms around Erwin's neck. “Yeah, I think it's time,” Levi bore one of his rarely seen smiles. “We've got a house together now, you're tenure-track now, and I'm not getting any younger. It'll probably take a while, so let's try to have a baby.” 

Erwin picked him up as best he could with one arm and spun him around. 

Levi nuzzled his head against Erwin's chest. “You're going to be a great father,” he mumbled against him. 

Erwin pressed his forehead against Levi's. “I could say that about you too.” 

Levi patted Erwin's shoulder. “You should get going. You've got a long drive to your sister's house.” 

“Are you sure you don't want to come with me?” Erwin nuzzled closer to Levi. “I know you don't celebrate, but Nanaba and Mike would love to have you.” 

“I've got an article to work on, besides red and green look fucking ugly together. I don't want to see what your sister's house looks like.” 

Erwin began peppering kisses all over Levi's face. “Happy Birthday, Levi,” he said in between kisses. 

…

“Well, Merry Jewish Christmas,” Levi closes the front door as soon as the food delivery woman leaves. “I'll be nice and let you pick the movie this year, but remember, it has to have a Jewish main character or it breaks tradition.” 

Levi sits down on the couch next to Erwin and immediately opens a carton of food. 

Levi practically moans with his first bite. “I have been fucking craving Chinese all week.” 

Erwin puts down the remote and slings an arm around his husband's shoulder. “You know, you still have another present from me,” he whispers into Levi's ear. “And Lily's napping right now – ”

“Oh fuck off,” Levi says as he attempts to dodge Erwin's affections. “I am going to finish this right now and afterward I'm going to be too bloated and gross to even move.” 

“Then can I give your gift tomorrow?” 

“We'll see,” Levi says as he moves his body closer to Erwin's. 

…

Their fourth December 25th together as a married couple was, to put it lightly, hectic.

Neither of them had slept much in the past few weeks. Just before Lily had turned eight weeks old, the pediatrician had diagnosed her with colick. 

Erwin was spending Christmas morning researching which baby foods could reduce gas and Levi spent his birthday morning wearing a weary and guilt-ridden face. 

“God, I haven't had any time to clean the house in days,” Levi said, gently rocking the baby in an attempt to soothe her. “Thank God your mom isn't coming over now. I never thought I'd be so happy for a snow storm.” 

“My mom wouldn't have minded the mess,” Erwin said, looking up from his laptop. “Besides the house doesn't look too bad.”

“Yeah, to you.” 

There was a sudden change in the atmosphere of the living room. The new parents took a moment to register the change. 

Lily had stopped crying, finally. Levi looked down and saw that her eyes had closed and she had fallen asleep against his chest.

“Oh, thank God,” Levi sighed in a whisper and started to turn away. “I'll start cleaning once I put in her the bassinet.” 

“No, don't,” Erwin said, closing his laptop and stopping Levi from completely turning around. “I'll put her down and clean up a bit. You need sleep. Go take a nap.” 

Levi took moment to respond. After the pause, he placed Lily in the crook of Erwin's arm. “I think I need a shower more than anything, actually.” 

Levi began to turn away when Erwin stopped him. “Levi, wait a second,”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Birthday, darling.”

“Thanks,” a smirk graced his lips. “Merry Christmas, Erwin.” 

Levi left the living room and Erwin glanced down at the sleeping infant in his arm. If he was going to miss his mother's Christmas roast for the first time, he was glad he was missing it for this little face. 

...

Erwin looks up from his book to catch of look of Levi absentmindedly rubbing his still-flat stomach as he proofreads a document on his laptop. 

“When do you want to tell Lily that she's going to be a big sister?” Erwin asks. 

“I want to wait a little bit longer,” Levi tells him, not looking away from the computer. “It's still early, and I want to prepare for a potential bad reaction. From the stories your mother told me, you and your sister were the poster children for sibling rivalry.”

“God,” Erwin says to himself. “I'm going to be 60 when the new baby graduates high school,” 

“Hey, Erwin?” Levi says. 

“Yes, Levi?”

“Thanks for spending my birthday with me,” Levi tells him.“I know I'm not huge in birthdays, and you probably would want to see your family and experience all that Christmas nostalgia, but, thanks.”

“You don't need to thank me,” Erwin puts his arm around him. “I think I like your birthday more than Christmas anyways.” 

“Good,” Levi says after a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Happy Holidays everyone!


End file.
